It's Okay

From Instagram:

Yesterday afternoon, something just clicked, and I realized I had to let go of everything--even the good and worthwhile things, like order and beauty in my home--in order to make room for the Christ Child.  Without having Him first, nothing, no matter how inherently good, will be enough.  Letting go is so hard to do.  But we packed up the children and took them outside--in the dark!!--to just be present with them and be in the season.  We sang Christmas carols and John chased Afon, and Roan cried and fell down, but I felt more peace than I had in the last two weeks while I've been mourning over the sad state of affairs in this household: brothers who can't be in the same room without violence, chores falling to the wayside in the face of sickness and disability, and a languashing spiritual ilfe.  There's still so much of me clinging to the world, even the good things in the world.  #KristinLavransdattergets me.  But, like C.S. Lewis says, if we can--oh miracle of miracles!--somehow--let go of all those things, and embrace Him, and only Him, we'll get all the good things thrown in with Him.  ...  John and I salvaged the household this morning with minimal fighting and resentment.  There is an Advent calendar that has no cues or prayers or activities; the flameless glitter candles have been chewed and sampled by Afon; that pretty desk is smudged and dusty.  And you know what?  It's okay.  #Advent2016